I’ve been part of the autism community, and later the PANS/PANDAS community, since 2007. Over those years, I’ve lost more friendships than I can count. But I gained even more.

The Vogue article really captures a lot of what this feels like. Jessica Slice really hits it home, once again.

For me, some friends slipped away quietly. Others told me years later that they just couldn’t handle how hard my life had become. It was overwhelming, too sad, and too heavy for them. I get that now more than I did back then. Still, knowing why doesn’t make the loneliness any easier.

When your family’s life changes in big ways, you find out a lot about friendship. You see who can be there for you even when they can’t fix anything, and who was just around for the good times. There’s nothing wrong with good-time friends, but PANS/PANDAS throws you into a whole new reality. Life can get really tough, really fast, and sometimes it stays that way for a long time.

But even with all that, I’ve found some of the best friends I could hope for. Some have stuck by me through PANS/PANDAS and through other tough times, too. I probably wouldn’t have met them if our lives hadn’t crossed paths because of things none of us wanted.

Years ago, the PANS/PANDAS community was so small that it felt like we all knew each other, or at least knew of each other. As more people have learned about it, our community has grown, which is great. Still, it’s important to find your own people within it.

That’s one reason I love seeing ASPIRE ChitChat grow. People return every month, remember what others are going through, and check in on each other. Real friendships and strong bonds have formed. We see this in our online groups, too. Now, even our adult patients are connecting and building friendships while living with PANS/PANDAS.

Community can’t replace the friends we’ve lost. Still, it’s so important to find people who just get why your life is the way it is, without needing an explanation.

Find your people. They may not be the people you expected them to be.

Read Article in Vogue Magazine.

xo Gabriella